Who Are You? – Simply lost
Who Are You? – A Journey Beyond Experience
Once, a man came to me, trembling with frustration. He said, "Parth, people blame me for things I haven't done. I feel crushed. I know they are wrong, yet I suffer. I smile in front of them, but inside, I burn. I feel like taking revenge. But after a few days, it fades. Still, I go back to the same people who hurt me. What is wrong with me?"
I looked at him and said, "You are caught in a loop, my friend—not in life, but in your own mind."
Let me ask you, who are you? You wake up in the morning, say good morning to your mother, brush your teeth, go to work, meet friends, laugh, eat, come back, and sleep. You do all this, but did you lose yourself in the process? Did you forget the one who is doing all this?
If you do not know who you are, then the next best thing you will hold onto is what you do—your activities, your emotions, your experiences.
A boy comes and compliments your dress, and suddenly you feel sweet. Is this sweetness you?
A person blames you falsely, and you feel crushed. Is this suffering you?
See, your emotions are like waves on the ocean. Sometimes they rise, sometimes they crash. But are you the wave, or are you the ocean?
Experience Fully, Then Drop It
Let’s say you are walking barefoot, and a thorn pricks your foot. It hurts. But if you keep pressing it deeper, again and again, the pain increases. The thorn was just an experience—it came, it pricked, and it could have been removed. But instead of pulling it out, you are holding onto it.
This is what you do with your suffering.
Someone hurt you once, but you keep replaying it a hundred times in your mind, pressing the thorn deeper. Now, tell me—is it the thorn that is hurting you, or is it you who is refusing to let go?
Anger, jealousy, grief—these are just different colors of your experience. But when you hold onto them, thinking this is me, you suffer. Suppose someone throws a thorn at you. If you catch it and press it into your skin, you bleed. If you simply step aside, the thorn falls harmlessly.
You want to feel powerful, but not powerless. You want sweetness, but not bitterness. But tell me, if you never know what makes you powerless, how will you know what power is? If you have never felt darkness, will you even recognize light?
Instead of resisting, what if you allowed yourself to experience everything fully? If you become anger totally, you will see it for what it is, and you will no longer need to repeat it. But if you resist, you remain half-cooked. You neither escape nor transcend.
When Shiva Stands Before You…
If you experience life completely—anger, greed, sadness, bliss, ecstasy—then even if Shiva himself stands before you, you will just watch. If Gautama the Buddha comes, you will simply watch. Nothing can shake you anymore because you have gone beyond experience. Now, you are complete.
For that, you need energy—not the kind that comes from food or sleep. A different kind of energy. Right now, your body is dull, your mind is confused, your energies are scattered. Come, let’s see how to turn this lump of flesh into a sophisticated vehicle. You must come to Inner Science. Then, we will make something extraordinary out of you.
Beyond Suffering: Why Do You Feel Crushed When Blamed?
Understanding the Nature of Emotional Suffering
Participant: Parth, when people blame me for things I haven’t done, I feel crushed inside. Even though I know they are wrong, I suffer intensely. Sometimes, I even feel like taking revenge, but after a few days, it fades. Why do I feel this way?
Parth:
See, right now, you are allowing other people’s words to dictate how you feel. Someone speaks a few sounds in the air, and suddenly, your inner world is in turmoil. If they praise you, you feel elated. If they blame you, you feel devastated. The question is, who is running your life—you or random people around you?
Imagine a small child playing in the sand, building a castle. You go and kick it down. For a moment, the child may cry. But within a few minutes, he simply starts building again. Why? Because he knows the castle was never real in the first place—it was just play. But you, as an adult, have forgotten that your emotions, your suffering, your reactions—these are also just play. You take them too seriously.
What someone says is their karma. How you react is your karma. But right now, you are outsourcing your inner experience to the entire world. If you want to live powerfully, the first thing you must do is take charge of your own inner world.
Why Do You Keep Going Back to Negative People?
Participant: I try to avoid such negative people, but I keep going back to them. Why is this happening?
Parth:
You must understand, suffering is like an addiction. Some people drink alcohol, some take drugs, and some are addicted to suffering. Right now, you are unconsciously drawn to situations that cause pain because, somewhere deep inside, pain makes you feel alive.
If I give you a sharp needle and ask you to poke yourself, you wouldn’t do it. But when someone else pokes you with words, you hold onto that pain and relive it again and again. Why? Because without suffering, you feel empty. It has become your identity.
The moment you realize this, you can step out of it. But if you continue identifying with your suffering, you will unconsciously seek out people who trigger it. It’s not them—it’s you.
Smiling Outside, Suffering Inside—What’s the Solution?
Participant: But Parth, when someone hurts me, I smile in front of them, but inside, I suffer so badly. How can I stop feeling this pain?
Parth:
You see, you are trying to put a bandage on a deep wound. Smiling outside while suffering inside is just deception—not healing. If someone insults you, do you think smiling will change what’s happening inside you? No. The real solution is to make yourself untouchable.
Imagine you are standing under the vast sky. Someone throws dust at you. If you stand still, the dust will settle on you. But if you simply walk away, the dust never touches you. Life works the same way. Insults, blame, pain—they exist only if you stand still and hold onto them. If you are constantly moving within yourself, nothing can settle on you.
Right now, your problem is, you do not know who you are. You are lost in your emotions, lost in your thoughts. If you are angry, you become the anger. If you are sad, you become the sadness. But if you truly knew yourself, you could hold any emotion at a distance and simply watch.
If you can sit here and observe your anger, your suffering, your joy—without becoming them—then, you are free.
Should You Experience Pain Without Reacting?
Participant: Are you saying that I should experience everything, even pain, without reacting?
Parth:
Yes. If you resist an emotion, it controls you. If you fully experience it, you are free from it.
Let’s say you drink poison—just one drop every day. You think, “It’s just a little bit, I can handle it.” But over time, it weakens you, kills you slowly. This is what you are doing with suffering. A little anger today, a little pain tomorrow—you keep drinking it every day, thinking it’s normal.
But if I give you a full glass of poison and ask you to drink it all at once, you will immediately say, "No, Parth!" Because you see it clearly. This is what awareness means—seeing things as they are.
If you allow yourself to experience anger completely, in totality, you will see through it. You will realize, it is just a passing cloud, not the sky. But if you resist it, it stays with you forever.
What Happens When You Experience Everything Completely?
Participant: What happens when we experience everything completely?
Parth:
If you live like this—allowing every emotion, every experience to pass through you without resistance—then one day, even if Shiva himself stands before you, you will just watch. If Gautama the Buddha comes, you will just watch. Because nothing fascinates you anymore.
Now, you are complete. Now, you are free.
This is not philosophy. This is Inner Science. If you are willing, we can make something extraordinary out of you. Come, let’s see.
Editor's Note:
In today’s fast-paced world, emotional resilience is no longer a luxury—it’s a necessity. Every day, we face situations where people’s words and actions impact us deeply. But the real power lies in our response. This conversation with Parth sheds light on an ancient yet timeless truth: suffering is not inflicted upon us—it is created within us.
Mastering your inner world doesn’t mean avoiding emotions; it means experiencing them fully and consciously, so they no longer control you. If you found this conversation insightful, share it with someone who needs to hear this. The journey towards true freedom begins with awareness.
Stay tuned for more profound insights on mastering your inner world.
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